It’s August 1st and I just have a few questions.
2. Where did summer go?
3. How are we already this far into 2018?
I arose in a tizzy this morning, because I overslept. I didn’t get to do my normal morning routine, which usually indicates a bad day but today was not bad at all. Although it was long, I had a productive day and I am beyond grateful for that.
I went to hot yoga tonight in just leggings and a sports bra. For most people that’s probably no big deal, for me that’s a feat. See, I’ve had body image issues most of my life. Actually I can remember the exact moment it started. I was about 10 or 11 years old, with my mom at my aunt’s house. I was introduced or re-introduced to an older women that apparently I’d seen before when I was little but did not remember. She was talking about how much I had grown and ended her sentiment with calling me fat. Immediately her words burned into my chest and I couldn’t do any thing but cry. It’s not that I wasn’t aware of the fact that I had gained weight or was chubbier than other kids my age, it’s just until that moment, I didn’t know that anything was wrong with that. It wasn’t even the fact that she called me fat, it was the way she said it. I knew that it was intended to cause pain, to shame me for something that I didn’t even have control over. I remember feeling so low in that moment. Why would a woman old enough to be my grandmother be so cruel? This initial insult and other moments throughout my preteen and teenage years compounded to a diminished body image nudging me to cover up, because my body wasn’t one that should be put on display. I have made leaps and bounds in my progress of feeling good about myself, and am at a point in life where I truly know that I am a beautiful woman. Even with my progress I never thought I would be in a hot yoga class (aka the land of thin white women) in nothing but a sports bra. I would love to say that I was empowered enough to have made a conscious decision to do the class in just the sports bra, but that is not the case. In a hurry, I forgot to pack a t shirt before I left home and had no other choice. Nevertheless, I did it and I’m here to tell my story!
Sometimes you accomplish goals you didn’t even know you had.
I’ll be 26 on the 27th of this month, and while listening Episode 3 of Jesus & Jollof I was listening to Luvie & Yvonne talk about their journey to the glow up. Luvie was discussing her long time experiences with blogging and it got me to thinking about my blog.. this blog.
I’ve been thinking about the direction I want to go in with my writing. I went through a few months of feeling uninspired and honestly considered not doing this anymore. Thanks to a friend of mine contacting me about a project that you will hear about soon, I decided to keep going. I’ve known for a while that I want to do something else, more with this site I’ve just been unsure how. So I got the idea to write a blog post every single day until my 26th birthday. Like the sports bra thing, this may not seem like a big deal to some people, but I have huge commitment & consistency issues. (Which is probably why I’m still single, but more on that later.) I am practicing letting my intuition be my guide so instead of balking at this idea I decided to go with it. So from now until August 27th, every single day I will post something on this blog.
Unfortunately, I can’t promise that every day will be profound thought and wisdom. Let’s be honest, 90% won’t be, but I can promise you consistent content.
It will be random, I will be more transparent, and hopefully it’ll be fun.
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for taking time out of your busy life to read this, & fasten your seatbelts because it’s about to be a wild ride.
Welcome to my journey to 26.